Blog

This week saw the launch of 'V' on Syfy, which got me thinking about that old favourite of TV and cinema - the unlikely hero. If Earth was rolled over by extra terrestrials our society would need heroes, and as we all know heroes often come from the most unlikely of sources. Below are my Top 10 Unlikely Heroes:

10. Father Jack Landry, V

While the idea of a priest becoming an integral member of an underground resistance might sound like a sub-plot from an episode of Father Ted, that’s exactly what happens in V. When Father Jack is forced to question the existence of God by the arrival of the Visitors he bays for blood rather than salvation. I just hope he gets to dispatch one of the Visitors and follow up with the line “Amen to that.” 

9. Toxic Avenger

The b-movie version of the Hulk, Toxic Avenger has become a legend in his own right. When ultra-nerd Melvin falls into a vat of chemical sludge after a prank goes wrong he becomes the ultra-ripped Toxic Avenger. How can you not love a superhero who's sole outfit comprises a bedraggled tutu? A Toxic Avenger remake has just been announced.

8. Jack Burton, Big Trouble in Little China

At a time when Arnie and Stallone were killing goons left, right and centre with a mere flex of their biceps the idea of a beefed up Kurt Russell playing a truck driving tough guy with a penchant for vests, guns and mullets must’ve seemed like a winner to the studio bosses. Only problem is this guy has about as much street smart as Sloth from the Goonies.  Burton is summed-up when he confronts the 7 foot tall undead bad-guy with cherry lipstick slapped all over his chops.

7. Daniel LaRusso, Karate Kid Trilogy

“Send him home in a body bag, Johnny.” The thing about Daniel ‘Paint a Fence’ LaRusso is that even after months of training with Miyagi he still looks like a frame of twigs wearing a karate uniform. Come on, you can’t tell me that when he was practicing his crane kicks on that wooden pillar you weren’t worried he was going to fall and be swept out to sea.

6. Shaun, Shaun of the Dead

Out of all the losers, serial killers and clergyman on this list Shaun is the one who most sums up the man on the street. Relationship problems, family problems, rubbish job, annoying housemates... fairly standard stuff.  Plus, how many of you haven’t sat in a pub at closing time and wished some cataclysmic event would take place meaning you’d have to hole up their till morning? Probably best not to include zombies in the equation though.

5. Riddick, Pitch Black

There are some in this list who are here because they’re everyday guys who have been thrown into rather awkward situations that they just aren’t mentally or physically up to. Then there’s Riddick, who actually enjoys killing people with serrated tea cups too much to be an archetypal hero. And that’s why I like him.

4. Sam Gamgee, Lord of the Rings Trilogy

“Stupid, fat hobbit.” Ahhh, Gollum. In the Lord of the Ring’s books Sam was always a bit, well, countrified, but the screen incarnation was more of a west-country chav who probably wore a tracksuit to the Green Dragon on his day off. But the boy came good in the end, smiting the Beast of Bodmin (aka Shelob) with his blade.

3. Hiro Nakamura, Heroes

When the god of superheroes was handing out killer stares, one liners and six packs the bag must’ve been empty by the time he got round to Hiro Nakamura. If anyone on this list has IT engineer written all over them it’s Hiro. Think about that, he could travel back in time and fix your computer before it even crashed. These superheroes will need to find a practical use for their powers when global chaos takes a downturn.

2. Ash, Evil Dead Trilogy

“Give me some sugar, baby.” Ash might have been a dab hand with the ladies but when it came to demon slaying it took him a few films to get into the swing of it. But what can you expect? He was just a department store sales clerk. When he took his latest squeeze to a cabin in the woods for a weekend of fun and frolics he wasn’t prepped for having to decapitate her with a shovel and lob off his own hand with a chainsaw.  The line “Give me back my hand,” is delivered with the type of self pitying sob that would make Jack Burton sick.

1. Kick Ass

The absolute epitome of geek fantasy realisation. Peter Parker was a pencil pusher who developed superpowers at puberty. Dave Lizewski’s an anonymous dweeb who puts on a wet suit and gets beaten up, and stabbed, a lot. With your average superhero requiring one or more of the following a) exposure to radiation, b) an endless bank account, or c) a nondescript vendetta, it’s great to see someone create a DIY guide for the rest of us. Although judging by the results I think I’ll stick to the day job. 

To see V and Human Target Episodes 1 go to our free online catch-up service.